Bossy? Of course they can be bossy! And good luck to them!
What's more, men like it that way.
Be honest, fellas, if your other half didn't get behind you now and then, nothing would ever get done.
Put it another way. Substitute the b-word with inspiration. They're inspiring us to action.
What husband worth the name can sit watching telly while his wife busies herself with the chores?
What man at work worth his salt will let a woman struggle with a task he can easily take from her shoulders?
Feminists will carp - they have problems the opposite sex should no more try to understand than solve.
Relationships thrive on good manners. Old-fashioned? It's an attitude that rewards both the offering and the receiving. Both parties get a glow of satisfaction.
What's more, we men know that a little sensitivity in this brash harum-scarum world goes a long way towards achieving what we want!
Tuesday, 1 April 2014
Tuesday, 21 December 2010
The Truth, the whole Truth and ...
Be honest! Held up to the light, would you see holes in your cv?
Watching Stuart "The Brand" Baggs sink deeper into the lavish coat of varnish applied to what was a demonstrably modest achievement brought joy to millions in the closing phase of BBC TV's The Apprentice.
For some, perhaps who have encountered a particularly searching job interview, it must have been a heart-warming example of schadenfreude.
While modesty is not a feature one would apply or expect to find in the average resume, to stray far from the truth when it comes to putting yourself on the line in the expectation of persuading a potential boss you're best prospect since bread was sliced, verges on recklessness.
Apart from possibly the best value of this year's crop of pushy TV candidates and comparing Baron Sugar's careful one-liners with those blundering gags Bruce Forsyth has made his own on Strictly, young Mr Baggs was the reason many of us watched fascinated, waiting for his inevitable come-uppance. His welcome appearances among the losers' last threes in Sugar Towers' boardroom amounted to a lesson in how not to go into interview. Inappropriate familiarity with the interviewer merited its icy response; a dodgy achievement in his application set in motion the slow-motion car-crash for his prospects - to the quiet satisfaction of all but the ambitious lad's nearest and dearest.
TV is an entertainment medium, not a manual on how-to-do-it - that's best left to experts like those of Focus for Change www.focus4change.co.uk. Entertainment-value was without doubt the reason young Stuart's sojourn was extended beyond most expectations, encouraging countless followers to indulge weekly in a searching love-hate relationship. We enjoyed his outrageous claims, watching the basilisk reaction of the pitiless peer as the would-be serial entrepreneur dug himself, Inspector Clouseau-like into a series of yawning lion-traps. Few candidates offer gold-plated deals in return for the £100k salary up for grabs with such panache. His script might have been filched stright from M Hulot or Mr Bean
So Stuart packed his bags for that last lonely taxi-ride into showbiz oblivion. And we'll miss him. But he will not have perished from our screens in vain Recorded for posterity is a case-study in how-not-to-do-an-interview. He may not have been able to add winning The Apprentice to his cv - but he does undeniably have the starring role in this training exercise.
Allow me to use my Yule Blog to wish the compliments of the season to all my readers.
Watching Stuart "The Brand" Baggs sink deeper into the lavish coat of varnish applied to what was a demonstrably modest achievement brought joy to millions in the closing phase of BBC TV's The Apprentice.
For some, perhaps who have encountered a particularly searching job interview, it must have been a heart-warming example of schadenfreude.
While modesty is not a feature one would apply or expect to find in the average resume, to stray far from the truth when it comes to putting yourself on the line in the expectation of persuading a potential boss you're best prospect since bread was sliced, verges on recklessness.
Apart from possibly the best value of this year's crop of pushy TV candidates and comparing Baron Sugar's careful one-liners with those blundering gags Bruce Forsyth has made his own on Strictly, young Mr Baggs was the reason many of us watched fascinated, waiting for his inevitable come-uppance. His welcome appearances among the losers' last threes in Sugar Towers' boardroom amounted to a lesson in how not to go into interview. Inappropriate familiarity with the interviewer merited its icy response; a dodgy achievement in his application set in motion the slow-motion car-crash for his prospects - to the quiet satisfaction of all but the ambitious lad's nearest and dearest.
TV is an entertainment medium, not a manual on how-to-do-it - that's best left to experts like those of Focus for Change www.focus4change.co.uk. Entertainment-value was without doubt the reason young Stuart's sojourn was extended beyond most expectations, encouraging countless followers to indulge weekly in a searching love-hate relationship. We enjoyed his outrageous claims, watching the basilisk reaction of the pitiless peer as the would-be serial entrepreneur dug himself, Inspector Clouseau-like into a series of yawning lion-traps. Few candidates offer gold-plated deals in return for the £100k salary up for grabs with such panache. His script might have been filched stright from M Hulot or Mr Bean
So Stuart packed his bags for that last lonely taxi-ride into showbiz oblivion. And we'll miss him. But he will not have perished from our screens in vain Recorded for posterity is a case-study in how-not-to-do-an-interview. He may not have been able to add winning The Apprentice to his cv - but he does undeniably have the starring role in this training exercise.
Allow me to use my Yule Blog to wish the compliments of the season to all my readers.
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
Say what you Mean
Don't put it around but - strictly between you and me - have you noticed that this WikiLeaks thing is coming out with stuff we've been saying for years? Apart, of course, from the later sensitive disclosures that must surely be dangerous in the public arena.
But of the thousand items of gossip, overheard or hacked into between diplomats, there have been many that accord with what most of the people I know have always instinctively believed. The attitude of our American cousins to the rest of the world; the opinions of our political masters of each other's weaknesses and the passing thoughts of royalty comes as a breath of fresh air to a climate of secrecy and deference.
Anyone who has knocked about the world to any degree would not have been amazed to discover some of the regimes with whom Great Britain plc trades require incentives to broker a deal; that what national leaders say on their twin lecterns about each other is nor necessarily what they share among advisers afterwards.
Free speech, with the important provisos to safeguard security and those whose personal safety in the national service requires secrecy, is not only the cornerstone of our liberty but a healthy escape valve against frustration and anger at inept leadership and pettifogging regulation.
There is much to be said for plain speaking so long as it is responsible. And what applies to diplomacy applies equally to our day-to-day dealings.
WickiLeaks provides a timely warning about email communication. Confidentiality just one watchword of the one-day interactive communication workshops we at Focus for Change conduct in the battle to preserve clarity in the workplace where the laid-back familiarity of texting can all too easily lead to misunderstandings.
Clear speaking is important throughout the recruiting stage and beyond. An ill-spelt, ungrammatical communication of any kind is a turn-off for a prospective employer - when did you last really look at your cv? Emails are becoming dangerously infected with text-speak not much short of insulting.
Say what you mean and mean what you say is clearly the basis of all relationships.
As my old aunt used to say, if you can't speak well of somebody, don't speak at all!
But of the thousand items of gossip, overheard or hacked into between diplomats, there have been many that accord with what most of the people I know have always instinctively believed. The attitude of our American cousins to the rest of the world; the opinions of our political masters of each other's weaknesses and the passing thoughts of royalty comes as a breath of fresh air to a climate of secrecy and deference.
Anyone who has knocked about the world to any degree would not have been amazed to discover some of the regimes with whom Great Britain plc trades require incentives to broker a deal; that what national leaders say on their twin lecterns about each other is nor necessarily what they share among advisers afterwards.
Free speech, with the important provisos to safeguard security and those whose personal safety in the national service requires secrecy, is not only the cornerstone of our liberty but a healthy escape valve against frustration and anger at inept leadership and pettifogging regulation.
There is much to be said for plain speaking so long as it is responsible. And what applies to diplomacy applies equally to our day-to-day dealings.
WickiLeaks provides a timely warning about email communication. Confidentiality just one watchword of the one-day interactive communication workshops we at Focus for Change conduct in the battle to preserve clarity in the workplace where the laid-back familiarity of texting can all too easily lead to misunderstandings.
Clear speaking is important throughout the recruiting stage and beyond. An ill-spelt, ungrammatical communication of any kind is a turn-off for a prospective employer - when did you last really look at your cv? Emails are becoming dangerously infected with text-speak not much short of insulting.
Say what you mean and mean what you say is clearly the basis of all relationships.
As my old aunt used to say, if you can't speak well of somebody, don't speak at all!
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Retiring? Best Talk it Over!
It's always tempting to wade into the swamps of lively argument - especially when fired with opposing opinions on the economic and financial difficulties we all share. After all, whatever our circumstances, our view of common sense is not necessarily that of our neighbour. Or, come to that, our partner.
But, as the TV commercials always say, it's good to talk!
Which makes all the more mysterious the silence of couples as they face each other at a restaurant table or, as I was recently, sitting together on a tourist coach.
There we were, my wife and I swapping opinions - yes, she has some and is never slow to voice them - but above all sharing the visual wonders of snow-capped mountain and azure-blue lake, remarking on this; comparing that in what we regard as companionable exchanges. Yet around us, as we passed through stunning scenery, many of our fellow-travellers - the majority, if not all, senior citizens - sat two-by-two staring straight ahead, mute as trappist monks.
Face-to-face each was perfectly friendly, often forthcoming - the way strangers can be and conscious that what they might be reluctant to reveal about themselves nearer home falls on unjudgmental and impartial ears.
Surely we agree an experience shared can more than double the pleasure.
An important aspect of the retirement planning programmes Focus for Change www.focus4change.co.uk is the interactive exploration of relationships that can produce some surprising results. The end of a career is the beginning of a new and rewarding phase of life as we shall be discussing on December 2nd in our Open Executive pre-retirement seminar at Westwood Park.
It's a fact that many couples discover the person they married all those years before has changed. Having been separated throughout each day, retirement means time spent together. They may share the home, but not always the same interests.
One of the factors that makes retirement planning essential is the realisation that serious consideration must be given to readjusting lifestyles. The knowledge that things are going to be different reduces the shock of discovering he or she is a different person. The prospect of years of shared harmony is much more likely if there is a recognition of each other's needs.
It was the Duchess of Windsor, who clearly enjoyed her space, who is famously quoted as declaring: I married for love - but not for lunch!
Now there was a woman with opinions!
But, as the TV commercials always say, it's good to talk!
Which makes all the more mysterious the silence of couples as they face each other at a restaurant table or, as I was recently, sitting together on a tourist coach.
There we were, my wife and I swapping opinions - yes, she has some and is never slow to voice them - but above all sharing the visual wonders of snow-capped mountain and azure-blue lake, remarking on this; comparing that in what we regard as companionable exchanges. Yet around us, as we passed through stunning scenery, many of our fellow-travellers - the majority, if not all, senior citizens - sat two-by-two staring straight ahead, mute as trappist monks.
Face-to-face each was perfectly friendly, often forthcoming - the way strangers can be and conscious that what they might be reluctant to reveal about themselves nearer home falls on unjudgmental and impartial ears.
Surely we agree an experience shared can more than double the pleasure.
An important aspect of the retirement planning programmes Focus for Change www.focus4change.co.uk is the interactive exploration of relationships that can produce some surprising results. The end of a career is the beginning of a new and rewarding phase of life as we shall be discussing on December 2nd in our Open Executive pre-retirement seminar at Westwood Park.
It's a fact that many couples discover the person they married all those years before has changed. Having been separated throughout each day, retirement means time spent together. They may share the home, but not always the same interests.
One of the factors that makes retirement planning essential is the realisation that serious consideration must be given to readjusting lifestyles. The knowledge that things are going to be different reduces the shock of discovering he or she is a different person. The prospect of years of shared harmony is much more likely if there is a recognition of each other's needs.
It was the Duchess of Windsor, who clearly enjoyed her space, who is famously quoted as declaring: I married for love - but not for lunch!
Now there was a woman with opinions!
Monday, 11 October 2010
Hello! Help! Can you hear me?
Had occasion to ring social services the other day. Not something we have occasion to do often - they seem to have enough on their plate without casual inquirers interrupting their endless case-conferences.
But on this occasion when we did call, answer came there none. Another department - the result was the same. Had some virus infected their telephone exchange? What if we had a weeping child in danger? Where would we go? To whom should we turn?
Not apparently that day to what some people I know irreverently call the SS, clearly.
Can there be anything worse than frustration?
You have a need which urgently wants fulfilling. You have taken all reasonable steps to be self-sufficient, sort it yourself, but the task for some reason is beyond you. Your last desperate recourse is to the public service that brings reassurance, expertise and closure to your problem.
Ring, ring - there's no answer.
These difficult days provoke all kinds of unworthy speculation. Have they all already been victims of the cuts?
Are they all on strike?
Perish the thought!
But what price customer service? Nobody's recording your call for training purposes; nobody's getting back to you. You've hit a big, unbreachable telephonic wall.
Public sector or private, unless the organisation you need to talk to is prepared to talk to you - in office hours, I grant you - there's no point in its existence.
Customer service - as our Focus for Change (www.focus4change.co.uk) courses insist with an emphasis on service - not only greases the wheels of communication but make both life and work worthwhile.
But on this occasion when we did call, answer came there none. Another department - the result was the same. Had some virus infected their telephone exchange? What if we had a weeping child in danger? Where would we go? To whom should we turn?
Not apparently that day to what some people I know irreverently call the SS, clearly.
Can there be anything worse than frustration?
You have a need which urgently wants fulfilling. You have taken all reasonable steps to be self-sufficient, sort it yourself, but the task for some reason is beyond you. Your last desperate recourse is to the public service that brings reassurance, expertise and closure to your problem.
Ring, ring - there's no answer.
These difficult days provoke all kinds of unworthy speculation. Have they all already been victims of the cuts?
Are they all on strike?
Perish the thought!
But what price customer service? Nobody's recording your call for training purposes; nobody's getting back to you. You've hit a big, unbreachable telephonic wall.
Public sector or private, unless the organisation you need to talk to is prepared to talk to you - in office hours, I grant you - there's no point in its existence.
Customer service - as our Focus for Change (www.focus4change.co.uk) courses insist with an emphasis on service - not only greases the wheels of communication but make both life and work worthwhile.
Tuesday, 14 September 2010
Retire? Heck No!
Now she's become a pensioner, feisty Ann Widdecombe claims she has retired.
Well she may have retired from her seat in the House of Commons. But she's pursuing new ventures as a treasured national eccentric as, among other things, a TV celeb, game to follow in the elephantine footprints of John Sergeant who used to report her speeches, on the floor of BBC1's Strictly Come Dancing.
Ann's doing just what the pre-retirement seminars of Focus for Change www.focus4change.co.uk urge delegates to do; if you've got it - flaunt it!
Not that everyone wants to be on television. But everyone reaching that stage of life at the conclusion of a career can evaluate and decide how they want to spend their third phase and ensure it's fulfilling and rewarding.
Few of us enjoy or would want to have experienced a high-profile persona. But all of us nurture ambitions given full rein to flourish without the discipline imposed on a working life; to contribute to the community, to take up and develop a new interest or even to become one's own boss to put the skills and experience of a lifetime to further good use are among the many challenges open to the newly-retired.
In fact, retirement is not a term the leaders of our interactive one-day courses approve of.
They call it "freelancing".
Our next executive open pre-retirement seminar takes place at our Mayfair, London, venue on October 14.
Why not book your place now by emailing info@focus4change.co.uk and share this exciting view into your future?
Well she may have retired from her seat in the House of Commons. But she's pursuing new ventures as a treasured national eccentric as, among other things, a TV celeb, game to follow in the elephantine footprints of John Sergeant who used to report her speeches, on the floor of BBC1's Strictly Come Dancing.
Ann's doing just what the pre-retirement seminars of Focus for Change www.focus4change.co.uk urge delegates to do; if you've got it - flaunt it!
Not that everyone wants to be on television. But everyone reaching that stage of life at the conclusion of a career can evaluate and decide how they want to spend their third phase and ensure it's fulfilling and rewarding.
Few of us enjoy or would want to have experienced a high-profile persona. But all of us nurture ambitions given full rein to flourish without the discipline imposed on a working life; to contribute to the community, to take up and develop a new interest or even to become one's own boss to put the skills and experience of a lifetime to further good use are among the many challenges open to the newly-retired.
In fact, retirement is not a term the leaders of our interactive one-day courses approve of.
They call it "freelancing".
Our next executive open pre-retirement seminar takes place at our Mayfair, London, venue on October 14.
Why not book your place now by emailing info@focus4change.co.uk and share this exciting view into your future?
Thursday, 5 August 2010
Accentuate the Positive ...
For all its faults I yield to no one my admiration for the BBC; despite the sniping that seems of late to be persistent. A small confession: what education I've gained was enhanced by radio programmes that stimulated the imagination and touched the curiosity button school didn't quite excite.
But like some others I'm increasingly concerned about Aunty's news coverage; or rather the way she tells it. Maybe she's suffering an identity crisis, a hangover from the May elections.
Any old hack will tell you the emphasis given to the treatment of a news story - the spin - is designed to influence the way the TV viewer and radio listener is informed. That's why it's vital to be able to trust sources of information - and to use more than a grain of common sense when we hear or see something that on the face of it doesn't seem quite right.
That said, we do seem to be enjoying an era, however brief, of good news from around Westminster way and everybody knows good news is unattractive to news editors. I know, I've been one! Reporters can be much more confident of getting their well-honed piece into the bulletin if it has the misery quotion. Even the good news has a habit of hitting the'but' buffer.
Listen to the Today programme on Radio Four and hear how the story remains the same but over time shifts in emphasis significantly. A case in point recently was David Cameron's idea to help council house tenants increase their mobility.
The story began that positively, a benefit to people wanting to move to maybe get a job but fearing they might have to drop to the bottom of another authority's housing list. Come the end of the programme an hour later the closing headlines turned the story negative as an attack on a tenant's right to their council home for life and the opportunity now enjoyed to pass it on through the family.
Manipulation of facts doesn't reside solely with news media. Helping executives in particular to prepare cvs and resumes Focus for Change www.focus4change.co.uk consultants have wide experience on the wise choice of words which appeal to interviewing boards. Often candidates are too close to their career histories to accurately convey the best possible light on their achievements or where their strengths lie.
A general curriculum vitae, designed to show succinctly the career path of an applicant, needs care in its construction. Enough, you might say, to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting! The functional cv is vital when the candidate needs to detail their career, under function headings which more readily demonstrate their expertise - particularly good where job titles fail fully to represent responsibilities, or when seeking a change of direction.
Either way, the cv is your shop window. Be sure it's an attention-grabber!
But like some others I'm increasingly concerned about Aunty's news coverage; or rather the way she tells it. Maybe she's suffering an identity crisis, a hangover from the May elections.
Any old hack will tell you the emphasis given to the treatment of a news story - the spin - is designed to influence the way the TV viewer and radio listener is informed. That's why it's vital to be able to trust sources of information - and to use more than a grain of common sense when we hear or see something that on the face of it doesn't seem quite right.
That said, we do seem to be enjoying an era, however brief, of good news from around Westminster way and everybody knows good news is unattractive to news editors. I know, I've been one! Reporters can be much more confident of getting their well-honed piece into the bulletin if it has the misery quotion. Even the good news has a habit of hitting the'but' buffer.
Listen to the Today programme on Radio Four and hear how the story remains the same but over time shifts in emphasis significantly. A case in point recently was David Cameron's idea to help council house tenants increase their mobility.
The story began that positively, a benefit to people wanting to move to maybe get a job but fearing they might have to drop to the bottom of another authority's housing list. Come the end of the programme an hour later the closing headlines turned the story negative as an attack on a tenant's right to their council home for life and the opportunity now enjoyed to pass it on through the family.
Manipulation of facts doesn't reside solely with news media. Helping executives in particular to prepare cvs and resumes Focus for Change www.focus4change.co.uk consultants have wide experience on the wise choice of words which appeal to interviewing boards. Often candidates are too close to their career histories to accurately convey the best possible light on their achievements or where their strengths lie.
A general curriculum vitae, designed to show succinctly the career path of an applicant, needs care in its construction. Enough, you might say, to cover the subject, but short enough to be interesting! The functional cv is vital when the candidate needs to detail their career, under function headings which more readily demonstrate their expertise - particularly good where job titles fail fully to represent responsibilities, or when seeking a change of direction.
Either way, the cv is your shop window. Be sure it's an attention-grabber!
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